I've been really downplaying how much getting cheated on actually hurts someone. I thought to myself, "Oh, people have been through worse; I'll get over it." but it really isn't that simple. It kinda fucks with you in the long run; especially when you had nothing but love for the guy who cheated.
larrynachos
It's emotional trauma, plain and simple. You were deceived into thinking they valued you to an extent that they didn't, and that validation and security is pulled out from under you like a rug. I've only had one adult relationship in 2017, it was 5 months of what I thought was a flourishing bond but in the end she cheated on me and dumped me lol.
The dismissal of the incident is probably a defense mechanism. If they cared about you so little, why expend the energy dwelling on it?
Jukestar
Yeah, all of the people I've talked to, especially my friends who I gave the full story to have told me I did nothing wrong, but finding out I was in a relationship with a stranger for about two years kinda fucked with me. I spent so much time, effort, and money doing things like getting luggage, spending money, and even an international passport to go and visit him and all it took was a search of his social media to see he WAS with that "friend I shouldn't worry about". Scrolling through all their conversations was already bad enough, but seeing the man I loved calling someone else "hon" (the thing he called me) was the heartbreaker after the gut-punch. It made me feel so stupid, betrayed, undesirable. It's such a horrible thing for anyone to experience.